Pinocchio: Men and Lies

After the post "Things We Girls Hate about Guys", guys accused me of being sentimental, forgetting that being a woman doesn't make me a feminist of which I am not.
And so it almost turned to be a battle of the sexes. How about making it a royal rumble now?
For those of us who dedicated our childhood to Disney animations, identifying this guy won't be a problem.

Well for the sake of those who don't recognize him, that's Pinocchio... the boy whose nose grew longer anytime he lied. Please note that Pinocchio as a cartoon character was male, not female.

Now in the previous post, I did not say guys lie more than girls. I just said we don't like them lying. But now I am saying it with absolutely no apology or remorse, Guys lie more than Girls and I give you my reason.
Femininity is characterized by a soft conscience that cannot afford to keep a lie for a certain amount of time. This is because her conscience will keep choking her, except if she doesn't have one and women without conscience are simply  products of a man's cruelty. #Period#

But the macho nature of a man is not soft. Not at all. Most man can lie a big lie and sleep well at night. Typical of some men, they feels it is ok to lie, "besides she'll understand".
I don't think some men understands the gravity of that sin, that is if they consider it to be a sin.

Now the only proof to my theory would be the activation of the Pinocchio spell. I bet you'll be shocked at the length of your boyfriend's nose and I bet again, more men will have longer nose than women.
Guys, you can now make it rain.

Walking Dead

Now I assume that we are all familiar with Zombies... The fictitious creatures that are extremely more ugly than scary and are featured in horror genres. Well those things are actually dead but for reasons I don't know, fictions make us believe that they walk the earth in search of human brains to eat; of which I consider very very stupid. I mean why eat the brain you need for your head and maybe cease being a zombie? That's by the way.

Let's keep the classic creatures aside and take a look at the walking dead of our time... this time not a fiction.
These are people who live by chance, people without ambition.

Now I do not have any theoretical backing but I believe ambition is what God kept in place to make our souls feel alive. Ambition guards your mind into what to accept, believe and live for. Imagine a reservoir tank with or without water, which doesn't change the fact that the tank exists anyway. However, the water level of the tank will determine how long the tank will be used.

Some people are tanks with holes. They let out anything good that flows from within to nourish weed. They are like a blank slate, love to be empty and dream of nothing. I'll take time out to write about Dreamers.
Unambitious people mostly do not have values, no goal, feel no pressure and worst, dead to the conscience of desiring a coveted life.

They are also dangerous cos they sap the fruitfulness of others just to throw it to the ground; just like the zombie gives the brain to the digestive system instead of the head.
Now if your ambition drives you to getting stuff for your stomach and ending as shit, then you have the ambition of a zombie and that still makes you a zombie.

The human ambition that originates from the soul elevates your status from mere human to something beyond ordinary. It fuels your entirety and threatens you with insanity if you dare to fall back to being just normal. At this level, people tend to misunderstand you cos you exist in different realms.

Now if you fall under this category, there is a tendency of feeling you are crazy. Truth is, you are really crazy cos only crazy people can deal with the madness that comes with Ambition.

So there you have it, locate your category today.

The MAMAs 2014

I actually find celebrity blogging boring but they always tend to bring more traffic #Grin# cos of the glamorous pics they often come with.

And so I finally decided to post this one.
Now my Naija celebs didn't fall my hand sha... but mehn, I had to trip and fall to laugh on this one... Badoo below

#Still laughing# Please don't get me wrong o. This guy up there might be a famous fashion celebrity or simply boxed up, of which I really didn't bother to do an underground check. So maybe this look is totally cool but my dear people, "identity crisis" is what my eyes saw. I mean, brother looks like black Zorro without the sword, inspired by planet of the apes costume and then he's blonde. Shuuu? I no even get comment for the shades if those are even really shades; and finally he decided to kill it by standing akimbo.

Toh, we are still waiting and watching to see how worst or better things will turn out to be.

Nigeria: Monarchy or Republic?

Make a dog comfortable in your living room and he'll shit in it.

With the amount of annoying things happening in this country some of us are just left to restlessly get angry and come this close to shedding tears.

Found out that these traditional rulers are paid in Millions for doing what I do not consider relevant to the development of this country. Pardon me for that statement but that's my candid opinion.

Call me disrespectful if you want but I honestly feel traditional monarchy in this country should be scrapped out of the administrative system of the Nigerian government because it is simply waste of money.

But then, if traditional monarchy is quite important cos it touches the grassroots, then let local government chairmen, counselors or even rep members fuck off.

Why are we wasting money on repeated administrative duties? What sort of federation is this?

Whitemen used traditional chiefs to simply fuck us up and all we have succeeded in doing is to take it to the next level.

And typical of the Nigerian poor man, they were already setting their own streets ablaze cos someone they didn't like was selected as their new emir. Naija for how long? How much longer can the nation contain all these?

While the rest of the world is making head way, we are here giving relevance to what really doesn't benefit us as a nation; rather we choose to cling to what divides us and continue in the business of tearing each other apart. #d tin don taya me sha#  

Boko Haram Amnesty?

So FG is considering to offer amnesty to Boko and I honestly wondered why someone would even think of that.
Most often I weight out issues and try to be very empathetic about it. People have even insulted me and called me Pro- Jonathan when I write stuff about his administration.
Truth is, I chewed this amnesty issue like I did with the others but mehn, it wasn't sweet. My reaction of which I considered as default and not planned was "WTF!!!"

So let's chew this thing together.
Abeg, wetin be amnesty?
 "An official pardon for people who have been convicted of political offences" as a nounand "grant an official pardon to" as a verb.I think what FG no grab here be say, these boko guys are not just offending PDP o. This is offence to entire HUMANITY.

Sorry o, I never heard George Bush asking Osama to consider diplomatic negotiation or amnesty. The man was labelled an international criminal and was hunted down as such. So I just dont understand how the whole world see these guys as offenders of humanity and the offended is considering not just making peace with them but granting them national pardon and of course large sums of money.

See ba, let's not even continue chewing this cos this is the height of madness and betrayal of the highest order. People die in their thousands and Nigerian girls have been abducted and violated and FG had the effrontery to not just think of considering amnesty but went as far as saying it while the nation was celebrating democracy. #Long Hiss#

Let this nonsense trash rubbish talk not be mentioned again and let's just assume they eventually do the amnesty thing and it works ba, then I assure you this country will not contain some of us.  

Ways to Make Him Love You!

Truth is... there ain't no way... If he loves you, he loves you and if him no love you, my dear him no love you!!!

Sorry honeys for that heartbreaking news flash, but reality check; Love in itself is priceless and cannot be purchased with money, Agbani like body, Ekaete cooking skills, not even by being an ace kama sutraist... if there is any word like that.

And as God made it, men are actually a kind of confused as regards to what they want, but I tell you, a guy can never be certain of anything aside the girl that has his heart.
Let me rephrase in other words, a guy can choose to be unsure of all the things  that concern his entire life but is very very very sure of the madam of his heart.

I have seen situations where girls effortlessly strife to "win back his Love" by bringing down heaven and moving mountains #PELE#, and the guy will sing the "I'v moved on" song (on replay sef) to the girl.
The honest truth is this, there was no love in the first place. Maybe a mirage of love or the famous lust made him sound like Enrique Iglesias without music, or maybe badoo was just servicing his toasting skills. Point is, girls tend to take them seriously but my dear sisters, if you've fallen and eventually realized you've entered one chance, kuku respect yourself and leave him alone.

I am lazy by nature and life has taught me not to struggle for anything, which is pretty convenient for me. Words' out ladies, if he loves you he'll call you, save your credit; if he needs you he'll find you and if he Loves you, then you'll know. Simply tell yourself the truth. #TALK TRUTH MODE#

"MUST DO" For Graduates

Almost titled the post "MUST HAVE" For Graduates, but then it occurred that all graduates should have a certificate or a testimonial, a budding Curricular Vitae, Birth Certificate, WAEC/ NECO original or official result, probably an NYSC certificate and of course any other paper that constitute your credentials.

Now this is the MUST DO. Transform paper to soft copies.

Truth is, I get pissed when I hear annoying but sad stories of people losing their credentials through fire accidents or worst, rats eating them. Haba?

I find it difficult to feel sorry for people like that cos you shouldn't allow such to be mentioned in a digital dispensation. These are ways you can preserve your documents and keep them at your disposal anytime you need them.

Firstly, everybody needs a clean and irresistible passport. I mean, you need to have a showstopper passport. Abeg no go to the usual "Passport in 1 Minute" kiosks and expect that, except you are Beyonce or you are comfortable with the normal passport that will definitely reveal the only available white powder or talc powder you rubbed before the shoot.
Point is, go to a standard photography studio... I did not say Foto studio. A state of the art photography studio provides a standard dressing room with make up artist, a studio room for photo shoots and of course the perfect background for your passport, not to forget the required amount of lighting for the shoot.

They also take out time to edit the photo to perfection and provide you with not just the hard copy, but the soft copy of the picture captured, which brings me to the matter on ground.
You actually need the soft copy more than you'll need the hard copy. All that might cost you a little too much but trust me, it's worth it.
However, make sure you send that soft copy of your passport to your email address and the email address of someone very reliable. Save that same copy in your phone, tablet, pads, memory card, external hard drive and anything that can contain it. You can also store the picture on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and any other social network that can store your picture.

But wait, you are not done yet. Also scan all your very important documents and send them to your mail box, so you can have access to them at anytime you may need them. By doing  this, you can have all your documents in the palm of your hand and leave your original papers in your mother's wardrobe.

Lastly, but most importantly, make efforts to have your result transcript, which is actually school's property but may come in handy one day. Scan and save it too.

Things "We" Girls Hate About Guys

Actually got tired of writing Political posts. I mean there's a whole lot more to write about... Like Soldiers firing at their GOC's vehicle, etc. #Naija na Case sha#

So today it's about the annoying things guys do that seem regular to them, but we hate passionately. Now I won't waste my time on the infamous sagging culture.

My dear brother, if u still dey wear your trouser like this then it's either you are still a teenager or battling with identity crisis on maybe, just maybe your case is on the advance level.

Now I personally hate it when I see a gentle brother wearing a big gadget all day, probably bigger than my earring all in the name of bluetooth headset. Haba???

But that's me though. Generally, I know a well meaning normal mentally functional lady hates it when a guy lies as if God created his whole body except his mouth.
On a serious note ba? It is not cool at all. If you get babe and you tell another chick you are single.Is there any benefit? As long as there is no award honouring the liar of the year, abeg stop it. #Diariz God#

So dear reader, don't be angry cos I did not list them as you would want, but I know every girl will agree on the fact that LYING is something we detest. For other ladies, not opening the door for her fit cause trouble or you forget to send her recharge card or even worse, telling her that her hair is fine when you didn't contribute even thread or needle. #Not Cool at All#

Chibok/ USA "Distant Relatives"

Honestly as a Nigerian, I have never ever heard of a place called Chibok till after the abduction of school girls that occurred few weeks ago.

Now have you ever wondered why these guys are all up in our business?

Well personally I believe Americans or the US Government rather, has a soft spot for oil enriched Nations. So after some serious thinking, I asked myself if there is any OPEC member state that has been void of the presence of the US Government; directly or indirectly.

You'll realize that OPEC member states that have embraced the US Foreign Policy have solid bilateral relationship and member states that tend to refuse suffer "calculated" national instability or completely have no ties with the US Government, Iran being a perfect example. 

Remember Saddam Hussein of Iraq and Gaddafi of Libya? Well both Iraq and Libya are Friends of America now.   

That now brings me back to Nigeria and the unfortunate issue of insurgency.

So suddenly Americans want them to bring back "Our" girls.

If they have predicted that Nigeria will be a failed state then why are they helping? Honestly this statement annoys me but I have to quote the US Intelligence Report (2012)-

"Nigeria will end up a failed State" #Olorun Maje# + #BackToSender#

 Now I really don't care about arguments as regards to the year that this prediction is meant to happen but I am certain of the fact that these bad belle people do not have good intentions for Nigeria.

Allow me to travel back in time when Nigeria led the first ever African peacekeeping operation in Liberia, without the support of Liberia's very own Colonial Father, USA. Also Nigeria embarked on a peace combat in Serria Loene and single-handedly ended Apartheid in Southern African Countries against the interest of the US and other Western Countries. Or did the title "Giant of Africa" fall from the sky?

No!!! Nigeria earned that named by being the back bone of ECOMOG and believe me America as a world power has not been comfortable with that.

  

My suspicion about America's intentions for Nigeria was confirmed to me after reading a report on Wikileaks by Atheling P Reginald Mavangira. The report gives a detailed report of how Boko Haram is a Covert Operation of the CIA and I began to wonder if the US Intelligence will fold their arms and watch their prediction fail.

If not, how else can these people penetrate the sovereignty of our Nation if they do not disturb, confuse and frustrate its Authority? These are the same people who sent red alert messages warning our security of terrorist attacks on some luxury hotels in Abuja. Abeg how did they know? These same people had already quickly set up 10 unit special force and deployed them to Nigeria in the name of "Urgent" operation. It's like breeding mosquitoes in your neighbor's backyard and offering to give him fleet for free. #Haba???

Instead of dancing that Americans are here to help, e for beta we begin dey kneel down jejely and pray well because American troops no dey enta, comot just lyk dat o.     

The American Foreign policy is meant to build and secure a prosperous world for the "benefit of the America People" first before any other. 

Do not be bought over by their sudden developed sympathy concerning the abducted girls because as far as I am concerned, they do not give a f#ck about any girl in Chibok.

See how her facial expression contradicts the message she's carrying. #Hypo#

Inconsistency... Bad Politicians

Nigeria is an amazing country o. Notin wey pesin no go see.

I honestly had a wild laugh and I rolled on the floor in my mind.
Foreign troops don show and typical of these guys, they don't say too much, rather they do too much.
Oyibo army don dey catch them and politicians don dey change mouth. #Had to Laugh Again#

Do you remember the statement, "Making Nigeria Ungovernable"?
Same source(s) accuse the present administration of the misfortune of insecurity that has been occurring. None has ever confronted the insurgents till now.

Oh suddenly they realize these terrorists are not Muslims. I mean they can suddenly see and blame terrorists and it has finally dawned on them that FG cannot sabotage it's administration right?

Or is it the foreign troops or the presence of good meaning global citizens in the World Economic Forum, that  has been excellently thriving, by the way.

Shame on those who glory at the trials of others. They should bury their faces because they were busy pointing fingers while foreigners are offering to help.
Some of us cannot be deceived sha cos fresh water cannot come from gutter.  

Artificial War

Now the unfortunate problem of insecurity in this country has got me thinking and guess what I found out.

Politics has been called a dirty game and believe me, e doti well well, because it created Boko Haram. Now I honestly hate talking about these guys but truth is, there are people who benefit financially from this whole drama and would  not want the feud to end. They include:

Partisan Politicians:
These guys are actually fueling the boko haram wahalla so they can point fingers at the Federal Government. It is a strategy to make FG look bad so they may appear righteous to the public. Beware of Political Parties that play the blame game cos if they can't help in suggesting possible ways to curb terrorism in Nigeria, then believe me they cannot do any better.

Senior Security Officers:
They could be in the Nigerian Army, Air Force, SSS, Mobile Police or even NSCDC. All I know is that the Security Sector in Nigeria has huge sums of allocation to enable a fair operation and possible eradication of these terrorists. But no o, Naija Officers can successfully carry out peace keeping operations else where but common boko haram living in the bush is becoming impossible. Point is, the war has to continue for these allocations to keep coming.


Wicked People  
These ones just like gbese. Their own is to just ensure that these bad guys continue with their operation because it pleases them. I'm still finding hard to believe that these abducted  Chibok girls were left in school without security and over 200 girls were taken under the nose of the authorities of an entire state and they didn't smell anything.Well all I can say is exactly what our First Lady said, "There is God o..."

Nyanya Again??? Haba?

I use pidgin to communicate when I'm angry so pardon me on this one.

Fest I bin tink say na joke ba? But afta I realized it was true *^%~#!"^%&*~#<;.>
That was how I felt cos I can't explain it.

God forgive me cos i actually suspected a terrorist attack today. I honestly feel guilty for that anticipation.
But d tin wey dey pain me pass b say, common Nigerians wey no fit afford to stay for haws to enjoy may day, common pipo wey gats hustle to chop, pipo wey just dey mind their own; na dem dey suffer all these kind rubbish. As if once is not enough, they stroke twice within the same area. I don't have time and energy to play the blame game but just a prayer and pronouncement of Judgement to these sets of people.

The Terrorists:
God punish the dirty mout dat says they are fighting for God #Nonsense#
Cowards!!!
Plan date, time and venue with these common Nigerians you kill daily and see if you are fit to be called a terrorist. Soon you shall all discover what terror is when you encounter the anger of honest men you have been taking by surprise. Jungle justice shall be your lot and the Mercy of God will never find you.

The Government:
Shame on You!
So eagle square bin get tite security shey? While Nyanya dey blow anyhow. No worry. No Condition is Permanent. Greater people have sat in high places since the inception of politics but where dem dey today? Abi una neva hear say common apple don eva kill somebody ba?
God Punish both PDP and APC.

And for politicians wey get hand for all these tins... God's mercy will not find them and they shall taste poverty before they die. I mean the Somalian Famine kind of poverty.

The People:
Thank God na una dey feel am pass. As 2015 don come, if you like collect bag of rice and groundnut oil in exchange for your votes. Shey una don sabi the kind wickedness wey dis pipo sabi? Dem go tell you say dem go bring lite, wata, work, etc. The ball dey ur court cos if e bad pass dis one, dis pipo go enta aeroplane run comot leave una. Use your head to vote and not your stomach.

May the peace of God Almighty rest upon every saddened Nigerian and may God have mercy upon Nigeria.

Why You Need Lime

 Glad I love Lime and even more glad after discovering loads of cool benefits of Lime. Lime is not Lemon; just so we don't mix things here.

 Ok... the green one is Lime and the yellow one is Lemon and we are looking at the green one, Lime.

Closed my jaws after some minutes when I realized the Magic or better still, Miracle wrapped in that tiny fruit. Lime actually does wonders to your entire body from skin to hair, digestion and so on.

Theses are few from the many that Lime does to your skin:

1. Makes your complexion GLOW:
For those who swallow drugs and even undergo expensive procedures for a glowing skin, say hello to a glass of lukewarm water with freshly squeezed lime juice every morning and save your money, time and energy. It does work...

2. Lighten Dark Spots:
Lime juice actually has a natural bleaching agent that helps lighten dark spots on the skin when applied, best using a cotton wool. It still saves you money and exposure to dangerous chemicals used in most bleaching creams. #Except if you wan dey baff wit lime water everyday# That will require a Lime farm #Grin.

                                         It actually works for dark elbows, knees and underarms.
3. Tones the Skin:
The fact that Lime Juice lightens cannot be over emphasized. Well since it is almost impossible to bath with a bucket of Lime juice, a little of it can be mixed with rosewater for an even body complexion.

We'll look at more Lime benefits, but that'll have to be on another post. Kindly share the outcome of this blog post, that's if you dare to try these simple procedures and then we'll find out more about the wonders of Lime.

Celebrity Selfie Ban

As if paparazzi is not enough, these people have the nerves to take selfies...

"We are rich and Famous... Go and Die".... Seems like what I heard.

I mean their pictures are everywhere; on phone service providers' billboards and flyers, propably the first
thing we see when we switch on our TVs and they even creep into our minds once in a while.

There should be a law that PROHIBITS celebrities from doing that. #Serious#

Like seriously???

Don't you think celebrity selfies are selfish acts and should be stopped? Not hating o...Just hating in a good way.

#These people no get conscience Wallai#